← 2021 March 2021

  • What a brave, cunning, and linguistic call for Tourism SA to make.

  • Gold Coast Mayor calls in Evergreen to cause our own Suez Canal incident on the M1 to stop Brisbane people going “down the coast” for Easter.

  • #notthebetootaadvocate

  • When the time comes, I will 100% support mandatory vacations, those who don’t should be forced.

  • You think that after the last year I'd be able to spell qarantein without using spellcheck.

  • Really surprised the humble salute didn’t make a comeback in 2020. It’s better than an elbow bump, and far more socially distanced, in fact the mere gesture implies that you should take a step back.

  • If cancel culture was real

  • Turns out that the Queensland Government just thought having five people together in a house at the same time was what they image a really awesome and fun and large party would be like if they ever got invited, just saying.

  • I feel like the marketing team at Zarraffas have never had breakfast, they just saw an Instagram Reel about it once

  • You haven’t lived until you’ve live texted a Covid press conference with all of your wedding clients getting married in the next few days.

  • Cheers to the freakin weekend

  • In a way, aren’t we all boats stuck in a Suez Canal called life?

  • 1yr ago today Queensland closed its border to other states with Police manning that border. That day was the beginning of a year from hell for our family and talking to a friend yesterday I realised I haven’t even mourned the last year yet. That’ll be something nice for future Josh to deal with.

  • We’re only one or two more “Covid ruined my wedding and now it’s your problem, Withers” away from collecting the whole set.

    Good thing I’ve got great contracts that mean nothing in court.

  • Have you been overseas in the past 14 days? Have you been in a Covid hotspot or been in contact with someone who has Covid? Do you have a fever, runny nose, or a cough? Have you felt like visiting a Bunnings, K-Mart, or a Thai restaurant recently? You may have Covid.

  • Time to fly, Melbourne

  • “I’m working in Epping, Epping is barely Melbourne, and I’m working with a group of engineers that don’t smoke!?” is literally a sentence spoken by a Collingwood supporter walking to the MCG through Richmond and I think that’ll be the most Melbourne thing I experience this trip.

  • If you’re wondering if airports have spent the downtime they've been gifted over the last year to make their coffee better, they haven’t.

  • I keep on finding this weird smudge on the top of some of my photos when I get them back from the film lab. Anyone know what’s causing it?

  • If you’ve ever been disappointed, know that you’ve not been truly disappointed unless you have prepared food for a toddler to not eat despite telling you that they wanted that exact thing you just made, and you made it really well, am I raising a psychopath?!

  • For all intensive purposes words don't matter, right?

  • I, for one, welcome our new unable to understand actual consent so we’re using a sexual consent app overlords.

  • PSA: Your kiwi fruit experience will improve once you realise you don’t need to spit out the seeds.

  • Just say, hypothetically, that you were married to a heavy rug user, what are some things you can encourage your partner to do to stop buying rugs and eventually kick that rug addiction?

    Asking for a friend.

  • In the first two months of both our girls lives we've moved house. Oddly enough, into the same house both times. Tomorrow we're out of the Palmy Crew and back into the Tugun Flight Path!

  • Police are now targeting a part of the people who misuse the word apart.

  • Did one person a million years ago cross their fingers and magically their situation changed for the better, or are we all just crossing fingers for feels?

  • It's not all men, but it's only men.

  • Most Aussie shop ever

  • Boooo

  • "Many of us don’t have enough stories of being taken advantage of or of having something stolen because we don’t take enough risks. Any time we love someone, we risk being hurt. But it’s worth the risk."

    Shane Claiborne.

  • Remember when internet things were called cyber?

    Crypto is the new cyber.

    Whenever someone says crypto it means we don’t fully understand it yet.

    Someday in a few years we’ll call it by a different name and that’s how you’ll know it’s matured.

  • Shiver me timbers.

    The latest Adobe Photoshop release which is Apple Silicon native just loaded in 4.13 seconds on my MacBook Air, and I’ve got heaps of other apps open etc.

    I can’t wait to see what they do with Lightroom Classic, I might have to go back from Darkroom.

  • I remember reading about wireless networking technology in computer magazines in the 90s.

    When they said wireless I didn’t think they’d mean on a 7mm thick glass & metal slab, 160g handheld touchscreen computer, travelling at 800km/h, 11km in the air.

  • Sitting next to a couple at the airport lounge who have just completed a whole photo shoot, different angles, poses, trying the different camera lenses on the phones, to capture the beauty of their free Qantas continental breakfast.

  • Years ago, when I was a younger man, you’d get your car serviced and they’d put air in your tyres for free, but I guess that’s how inflation works.

  • Life’s never going to be the same once you realise what the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” is really about.

  • 🏄‍♀️ Bells Beach

  • 🐨 For once, the sign didn’t lie

  • Something not quite right?

  • I want the photographer that does the McDonalds menu photos to do my headshots.

  • Not many people know this, but Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know was actually written about Melbourne and I through 2020.

  • let’s fly jetstar tonight

  • After our year of “travelling” we’ve got our keys back. We’re going home!

  • Hey world, why are we giving kids middle names if every time - as a marriage celebrant - I ask one of my couples for the full name of someone, they don't think the middle name is part of the full name?

  • You might be surprised to find out that Harry & Meghan are not the first people to get married before they got married.

    I’ve married so many people who have wanted to take back their getting married moment from their family, then gone along with the family wedding weeks/months later just to keep everyone happy.

    Kind of sad that family would impose so heavily, in my humble opinion.

  • "My interactions with Bartercard (Qoin) have not raised any red-flags, and as a blockchain tech enthusiast I appreciate its efforts to onboard many non-crypto users.

    James Zaki on Qoin

  • "We just wanted to get on Zoom with you to make sure you're as much of a smart ass as you look like on social media"

    I book the nicest couples!

  • Luna is a really coming around to this big sister vibe

  • First films

  • I for one am shocked to find out that the Colonialist White British Empire’s Royal Family is racist.

  • Social media is evolving

  • Goldie Grace Withers' birth

  • If you complain that you phone is listening to you, but use Google Chrome as your web browser, you're a hypocrite - quite possibly innocently - but Google Chrome is becoming the least private web browser, despite already being terrible.

  • 🌞

  • When Luna met Gracie

  • Let me introduce you to Goldie Grace Withers

  • 🌙

  • Funny looking Old Gum Tree there m8

  • I just picked Luna up from her trying to play with some rude kids who didn’t want to play with her, so in front of the kids and their yucky mother told her that “we don’t have to play with yucky kids.”

    Parenting has really brought out my inner bitch.