Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • You probably didn't know this, but the official bird of the City of #Brisbane is a guy trying to drive the wrong way down a one-way street.

  • In a moment of confusion, Parliament House’s chef has taken burgers off the menu.

  • "I find Bourke Street confronting" - Josh Withers

  • Movie Idea: #LiamNeeson just stands in front of a camera punching people for 2 hours: "Taken 4: It's Face Value"

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson's daughter is totally ok so they buy a tandem bike: "Taken 4: A Ride"

  • Movie idea: Liam Neeson resigns from being a retired CIA agent and becomes an Ibuprofen: Take 4: Back Pain.

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson realises the movie producers have been behind his daughter's kidnapping this whole time: Taken 4: A Fool.

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson is replaced by @HackedOffHugh in the next in the Taken series. It's called "Taken 4: Granted"

  • Wow! I'm working from home today and just realised I'd been wearing pants all morning for no reason!

  • Any Wordpress theme nerds available to do an Illustrator to Wordpress theme conversion? We've hired @chopchoporg but they're being painful.

  • Will Smith and the remaining survivors will really enjoy your #Ebola jokes in 6 months.

  • I think my iPhone's Soundblaster 32 drivers need to be updated.

  • Obligatory begging post for Ello invite. If you've got an invite, pass one on to a brother.

  • I'm so frikkin pumped! 11 nights in NYC, 2 nights in San Juan, 3 nights in Washington DC!

  • Tickets to Puerto Rico booked! BOOYAH!

  • BREAKING: Local man really hasn't got time for these roadworks. Onlookers have watched him change lanes three times over the course of 50m.

  • Why can't silence be @RedFoo's new thang?

  • Would appreciate your thoughts on a blog post I'm working on: How Google's driver-less cars would positively impact marriages/relationships.

  • This will only end well if @karlstefanovic jumps onto the bandwagon early. Do it Karl, do it. (If you happen to read this Karl, hi)

  • In the coming months Hitchiker's 11 will be "that song" that everyone mimics in funny videos on YouTube ... and eventually Seven Sunrise.

  • Best prepaid SIM-only deal for an Aussie travelling to the USA for three weeks?

  • I just charged my new iPhone in the microwave like Facebook said and it's rubbish. It's only charged on the outsides, not in the middle.

  • Hey Australia, my 100% non-terrorist dark-skinned mate had a glass bottle thrown at him yesterday. Everyone chill the feck out.

  • Just caught a ride to Riverfire with Uber for free using my own 'marriedbyjosh' promo code!

  • Doctor Who theme music blaring out of the PA system, on the grounds of a university, as fighter jets fly over #justanotherdayatwork

  • Doing my 100th wedding for the year this afternoon ... that explains where the year went!

  • Yep ... I just quoted the Bobs in a blog post. It's a good day.

  • #HeyASIO my ICQ number was 49739400 but I've forgotten my password- help a brother out?

  • Just emailed one of my heroes that lives in NYC. I figure that I'm not in NY every day, and maybe Seth Godin wants to have lunch with me?

  • I'm worried that once day my child will be asked what daddy does. And they'll be forced to answer "drink beer or coffee with people in love"

  • Wanted: bow tie alignment technology so that my bow tie is always horizontal. Get back to me when I can send you a cheque, science.

  • Eagerly anticipating Apple iOS 8.11 for Workgroups

  • "I have a bum" - pop music today

  • Sorry, I didn't recognise you without the Instagram filter.

  • "If you're having iPhone problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bend ain't one" - iPhone 5S user

  • Saw two Twitterlebrities today. Is this supposed to happen in threes?

  • If anyone's looking for a good deal on advertising from the Police Institute in their members magazine I'm got a guy on the phone ...

  • So @1Password is nice and super buggy on iOS8 isn't it? I take it that this was a bad time to become a new user?

  • "You're the iPhone Stocks app of people" - awesome insult I just invented!

  • I think #Gillard has forgotten what the deal with Australian politics is. It's a parliament that represents the public, not personal views.

  • Guys, spring has been hiding in Toowoomba. In case you were looking for it.

  • Phone call from Australia Post's Albion MC tells me that they can't post a letter when they've only got my name & phone number on the front.

  • My grandma told us a lovely story last night about how she used to have a nice young helpful tanned house boy.

  • It's weird that 20 years on everyone is Friend-crazy but when it first aired no-one even tweeted about it.

  • The next @popupwed location is being announced tonight at 8pm. There are animals involved!

  • Idea: four motorcycles welded together with a large square bracket so you get all the excitement of a motorbike with the capacity of a car.

  • Int'l Anaconda spokesperson says that they indeed do want some and the recent speculation about them wanting none is far from the truth.

  • “The best way to complain is to make things.” - James Murphy

  • So I know a guy, ok.

  • Super dodgy looking guy out the front of my office in an old Commodore wants to know if I know if I know anyone looking to buy a laptop.