Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Thinking about wearing a dog suit and leg cast, carrying a boom box the whole time we’re New York #BigCityNights

  • I don't want to seem petty, but someone has changed the font on my GMail email notifications and TODAY IS RUINED.

  • Nothing is on fire. Fire is on things. Mind. Blown.

  • I feel a bit petty just leaving but I feel they’re being petty trying to get another $3 out of me.

  • Has there been an economics study done on $10 minimum EFTPOS a limits? If there’s a limit being enforced I’ll just go to another shop.

  • It’s nice being the talk of the town lol

  • Bilambil service station attendant asks me if I’ve heard about the seven weddings happening at Summergrove Estate today! #popupwed

  • Tonight on 60 Minutes , the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

  • Can you actually earn, or spend, Flybuys points on actual flights anymore?

  • 97.3fm must be the only station that plays Star Trekkin after LMFAO

  • Tonight on 60 Minutes, the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

  • “My grandfather knitted me this jumper“ - thing we’ll hear when we’ve really reached gender equality

  • Persevere my brothers and sisters in the faith.

  • An encouragement for the survivors. It's been three weeks since the iPhone 6 came out and I haven't upgraded yet. It gets easier each day.

  • I try my hardest to not talk about politics and religion on here, but wouldn’t that be a cool band name? #PoliticsAndReligion

  • Well I don't know what you've been doing today but I just got ordained as a minister in the state of New York.

  • Mars is the only planet in the known universe that is 100% inhabited by robots.

  • “There used to be a Pizza Hut there!” - me, like, everywhere

  • We're at Summergrove Estate in the Tweed Hinterland this Sunday - hope the skies stay blue

  • It's the #GoldCoast #popupwedding weekend with seven couples getting married! I love #popupwed because it's no BS, 100% authentic commitment

  • Ugh! I just saw my first Instagram ad. My photos are all so dirty now. I'll be back after this shower brought to you by Johnson & Johnson.

  • I'm sure none of their other vendors hold them to account for every dollar as much as I do.

  • I really do feel sorry for any wedding media that ever approaches me to advertise.

  • The Brisbane market has never been more ripe for the @BrisbaneTimes to click print on it's website & start selling something at a newsagent

  • I'm not saying we should, but, like, has anyone ever given a sloth cocaine - @eliyudin

  • I've been working with a pretty awesome Sydney photographer on his new website and blog, and he just launched, and is giving away a camera!

  • Thoroughly making sure all of my bikini pics are gone from the internet in-case I get murdered and it makes frontpage news.

  • SPORTSBALL WTF! #DONTLIKEEITHERTEAM

  • Surely it's time the world saw another song featuring the word 'haver'?

  • Just did an interview with the Daily Mail!

  • Just saw someone renting a DVDS from an automated DVD kiosk, so it’s a pretty massive day for the DVD industry.

  • High school friend just invited me to like her favourite supermarket's Facebook page. Life really is a box of chocolates isn't it.

  • "In life, change is inevitable. In business, change is vital." Author, Warren G. Bennis

  • Remember the good old days when we used to post on ello? Good times.

  • That last tweet is possibly too meta

  • Do you think Apple’s U2 giveaway might have been more successful if they hid the album in a folder on the phone called Fun Stuff?

  • It might have something to do with not having lost any direct family members or friends.

  • OMG WHEN OR WHERE WILL THIS #BACHELORAU SAGA END? Asking for a friend.

  • Over-excited Korean guy wearing a Jeep shirt driving a brand new Jeep bought a Jeep.

  • “Never bring a Dyson Airblade to a towel fight“ - @MrBigFists

  • Can anyone recommend an electrician on the Gold Coast? Our hot water system is on strike, showers are forecast with a cold front expected.

  • Everyone stop asking me why @MolksTVTalk and i are consciously uncoupling. He’s the one making all of the decisions.

  • I'm 32 years old and I still don't "know what that means" when radio announcers say "it's Friday and you know what that means!"

  • In breaking news, The Bachelor transforms into the bachelor, same guy but without the capitalised first letters cause it's not a title now.

  • Ok, stay with me on this one, new name for Blake: The Batch-he-lay-her #TheBachelorAU

  • Hi, I find u on the Google, how much you charge? $935 My friend got married last month for $350, why u so much, u don't do anything special

  • I'm going to wear a burqa to Parmigiana tonight.

  • Peter is to oin tune with the termites RT @612brisbane: Called in a pest controller to answer your concern on the cereal box Peter.

  • I can’t help but think I’ll be a broke elderly man spending every last dollar on remastered Eminem and Nickelback albums.

  • There needs to be a ruling made on whose armrest is whose in a cinema.