"That's the best wedding ceremony we've ever had on the island" - Tangalooma's Events Manager. Why thank you sir!

Someone that collects the empty beer glasses. What does everyone else ca them? RT @JohnLacey: @JoshuaWithers -- What's a “glassy”?

Of course they'd give him the lowest paying job on the island.

David is an evangelist at heart, he just wants to convert everyone to the good church of Tangalooma.

Tangalooma's biggest ambassador is a glassy named David. He's the happiest and friendliest person on the island. And on the boat over.

#bnetraffic Traffic stopped northbound through Springwood on the M1 due to a dropbear on the motorway mauling a pedestrian to death.

New research shows that we put a lot of faith in new research.

In future seasons of #DWTS Ch7 will be matching professional dancers with massive luminous spheres of plasma due to local star drought.

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Dad leaves home only to do more housework than he used to

"Successful people do what successful people won't. Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better" - Jim Rohn

Trying to find a bunch of money I had hidden somewhere no-one would look. Finally found it in my Google+ account.

1990 called wanting their t-shirt back but then I told them about the iPhone 6 and then they hung up.

#BREAKING Research reveals that Paleolithic cavemen were really into cupcakes. The implications for those on the Paleo Diet are exciting!

Why doesn't Obama just tell Liam Neeson that ISIS have his daughter?

If you weren't sure if today was an awesome day, the elderly gent sitting at the table next to me is watching "Boys Boys Boys" on YouTube.

Breaking News: Dinosaur owner, failed resort owner, politician and mine-owner finally relents and allows himself to pay less tax.

Please, no-one distribute my nude hacked iCloud photos. They're all terribly photoshopped and not representative of my true nude self.

... I did google hipster alternative celebrant and I found you." 2/2

Email: "Let me know your thoughts on this, I know it is unusual and I am asking you if you would feel comfortable and ok to do it ... 1/2

OMG DID I JUST INVENT A NEW VIRAL HASHTAG CRAZE?!!?? #whitepeoplesolutions

Facebook Messenger really is this generation's world war isn't it.

I think I just got a great finance deal on a garage door opener, store owner said he had no remote interest in selling me one!

Is there a tool that tells you why a certain site ranks higher than yours for certain keywords on Google?

15 weddings in the first 15 days of September ... oh my lord.

One of the groom's vows for upcoming wedding "I vow to let your mother park her broom at our house when she comes to interfere, I mean help"

Plot twist: GRL's 'Ugly Heart' is actually a poignant political anthem.

Bill Caralis' Superradio network's weekend talkback is probably the closest Australia has to the Grand Theft Audio in-car talkback station.

Can we just stop and recognise that @Telstra is using a Postal Service song in it's recent ads.

Schapelle Corby: God's gift to current affairs television.

It's lovely that the nine Gold Coasters with full time jobs not in retail or hospitality get a public holiday today.

I'm having coffee with a pre-marriage counsellor right now. Why are you, or aren't you, or did you, get pre-marriage counselling?

Dear collective nerds of the world, can you recommend a desktop printer, that's not a $30k photocopier, that can print on 300gsm paper?

Police blocking off Light Street in Fortitude Valley, sirens, lights, what's happening? I can't get to my office.

Digital radio just celebrated it's 5th birthday in Australia. Still not in regional areas, still not in almost every car.

Any lawyers around? I'd like it if someone could give an interpretation of "or words to that effect"

"Pay any price to stay in the presence of extraordinary people." - Author, Mike Murdock

Since the last episode of the @ThingCommittee was released, 8mths ago, 8,226 ppl have listened. So there's more coming. This is a teaser.

And now I feel old and ungrateful. And I want to play Wolf3D.

Now I feel bad because I complained that my internet connection is 2.23 original Wolfenstein 3D's per second.

Lodged an @Internode line fault tonight because my Internet connection is maxing out at 3.6MB per second download speed.

Say what you will about Google but it only took 24 hours for me to go straight to the top of the page one for "shit celebrant"

So when you see that stuff ... vote away! The last time I almost won and I also got in tonnes of shit at Fairfax because I was nominated!

Fair warning: I'll be annoying everyone soon asking them to vote for me in the Pedestrian Daily Blogster Awards because I'd like to win.

If you're looking for a @mailbox betacoin to try the new #Mailbox for Mac Beta let me know, I've got three to donate

I do have a Fairfax news subscription though ... so that's kind of paid for

I'm equally ashamed and proud of the fact that the only online journalism I actually pay for is from @TheOnion ...

In the Internet's defence, how many famous Attenboroughs could there be?

I just got nominated for the nice bucket challenge. Which sounds funny but is quite hard, there aren't many nice buckets.

TV show idea: a remake of early 90's 60 Minutes.

Best thing about the rain: the motorway to the "Sunshine" Coast is empty!