Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • The mice bucket challenge would've never had the same response.

  • Does anyone else want to see a full episode of Tool Time, with Tim "The Toolman" Taylor?

  • High school buddy just unfriended me on IceBucketChallengeBook!

  • Stevie the cat is hesitant about joining #TeamAustralia

  • Confession: whenever I hear a @janoskians song I imagine that @nicwkelly is the lead singer

  • There's been something playing on my mind recently, it's a hard topic to speak on, but, I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble.

  • Self-employment is a haunted house of emotions. Also, who do I give my medical certificate to? Asking for a friend.

  • Any software developers around that specialise in Google Calendar/Apps API stuff?

  • This self-employed thing is all consuming isn't it. I don't know a life outside of Gmail, Quickbooks, Google Calendar and my word processor.

  • "It's such a relief to meet a #celebrant that's a normal person!" - bride just now at the #vintagebride #weddingfair #weddingcelebrant

  • Is running for a seat in the next federal election with a single policy against Facebook Messenger a sure win? Asking for a friend.

  • The power of Christ compels you!!! #LicenseToWed #RIPRobinWilliams

  • Movie idea: "@JoeHockey's Big List of Things Poor People Don't Have"

  • Dear SEO experts that email me daily, get back to me when your website ranks on the 1st page of Google & you're not using a hotmail address.

  • Facebook Messenger's terms & conditions is such a literary hit it'll only be a matter of days before they announce the movie.

  • #BREAKING White, non-war-stricken, generally happy humans complain about 'being forced to use free social network's free messaging app'

  • Well that's a first. Watched someone steal my GoPro in the middle of a wedding ceremony.

  • Idea: release a really cool book with a great premise and cool cover. There's a massive market for buying cool books that don't get read.

  • I just saw a netbook in the wild. Everyone remember net books?

  • I achieved that much today that it would take the government a few weeks to sort through today's metadata.

  • What's my guilty pleasure? 5ive #KeepOnMovin

  • Now that I've got the all-clear on what metadata is, I'm only visiting websites now, not web addresses #phew

  • I've typed 'celebrant' so much on my iPhone that it just auto-corrected 'cake ebrsbt' to celebrant ... correctly.

  • The Australian Expendables would be Harold Bishop, Alf Stewart, Alan Jones and Paul Hogan.

  • Surely if Michael Bay just stopped making movies we'd get world peace? #simple

  • #DanceLikeDelta #LeaveDeltaAlone

  • Guess who just broke into the Texas wedding market?!!!???!!! #weebitexcited #popupwed

  • Idea for Disney and hospitals: Disney sponsor the children's ward and rename it the X-Wing of the hospital. #StarWars make hospital cool.

  • In-app game purchases are the 2014 version of the Timezone token.

  • Chatting to John and Garry on @NewsTalk2UE about cool places to get married in a minute.

  • Is there a business ATM in Brisbane that will give you change for a til?

  • Now that we've gotten rid of the carbon tax I can finally afford to grind up and smoke $50 notes in my pipe.

  • Call me judgey but I'll avoid a bearded man wearing a Slayer shirt carrying a bottle in a brown paperbag by the neck in the Valley at 1pm.

  • Apple and IBM forge global partnership ... Steve Jobs rolls over in his grave.

  • "The phone call is greater than the Facebook comment" - modern saying I just coined

  • What's with everyone keeping peeves as pets? Doesn't everyone know they're dangerous?

  • "You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time." Inventor, Charles Kettering

  • Pretty proud to announce that I'm going to be taking up a Certificate IV in Reading My @Telstra Bill.

  • Trying my hand at Reddit advertising. Watch out /r/perth tomorrow!

  • I just can't believe that King Missile haven't had more hits.

  • Ian Thorpe's sexuality isn't news. Ian Thorpe's sexuality being news, is news. More in our 6pm bulletin.

  • Fire near Kessels Road, anyone know what's up, I can see smoke plummeting from the western side of the M1.

  • Dear old nerds, many many many moons ago an @APCmag cover CD contained heaps of really old PDF editions of the mag. I'd love to find this.

  • Reached a whole new level of receipient-of-celebrant-anger today as a celebrant from Victoria corrects me (incorrectly) on my blog. Bless.

  • Anyone know anything about official Instagram advertising I. Australia? Is there someone you call?

  • Dear comedians, why now Brazilians waxed jokes today?

  • Well, at least Brazil won the Hottest People In The World Cup, which is arguably better than soccer.

  • Is "sorry we don't serve syrups here" the new racism? #coffeeism #stupidquestionsbyjosh

  • I've spent all afternoon making a belt out of my watches. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a complete waist of time.

  • "I CAN'T THEY'RE SHUTTING ORKUT DOWN!!!!!" - no-one