Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • It's the perfect storm of responsibility - I've pursued every company for reimbursement

  • Really care that it cost me $600 to stay the night in the only hotel, and now @QBEaus don't cover 'taking an hour to get to the gate'

  • They delayed taxiiing to the gate for about an hour so I missed my connecting @airberlin flight. @qantas, @emirates and @airberlin don't ...

  • Travellers, can you offer any help? Last October my @Qantas ticketed @emirates flight landed on-time but @dusairport delayed taxiing for ...

  • "Without music, life would be a mistake" - Nietzsche

    Who's playing the music at your wedding?

  • Guy skulling from a goon bag on the M1 next to his '91 Ford Festiva at 5:39pm on Australia Day is obviously having #tay4hottest100 feelings

  • Someone just sent me a RAR file full of photos ... it feels like 2002 again

  • Listening to @Hit105Breakfast and as the ads start I literally tried to skip through the ads ... I listen to too many podcasts

  • What would need to happen for you to cancel your wedding?

  • If I started charging my clients multi-hundred "other" un-explained charges I'd be on @ACurrentAffair9

  • I'm sure it'll be dropped like last month's $900 "other" charge.

  • This month there's just a random $827 "other" charge that is taking 30 minutes to diagnose.

  • Every month I have to call @Telstra about my bill. Every fucking month. Why can't @Optus or @VodafoneAU be better so I could jump ship.

  • I'm Shannon Noll, let me back into Crazy Horse, is the line of the year

  • Strippers on the bucks night?! Does anyone still do this anymore?

  • Our culture and our history is our responsibility, not an advertising agency's. 2/2

  • Australia rests/dashes its hopes for our culture on a lamb ad and think that the only sheep in question are on a barbecue. 1/2

  • What was the last wedding tradition you questioned?

  • Don't ask that question, that's my advice

  • My grandpa's in hospital, so I'm visiting and I ask if he has any dark deep family secrets he thinks I should know ...

  • As I immerse myself more and more into the hashtag iPad lyf I find less and less apps and developers give a fuck about the iPad

  • Oh, hey! This guy wrote another article for @yahoo7be 🤘🏻

  • I'm 19 hours into 2017 and still unsure what to be outraged at, help me out Twitter

  • What's the go with these ~365 day shaped blocks of time being responsible for outright celebrity murder?

  • Listening back to a @thingcommittee podcast episode from 2013 ... I feel like I was a million years younger but @SteveMolk still sounds old

  • Really good idea: 24/7 @Xero helpline. I just want to chat to someone.

  • Leonardo Caprio won an Oscar, then the rest of 2016 happened. Coincidence?

  • If I ever hear the phrase "there's still time to run" to a groom from a family member again I'll probably snap.

  • In short, the secret to an awesome wedding is ditching the bridal party

  • As a professional wedding attender I can tell you that weddings without bridal parties > weddings with bridal parties

  • "Love is better than no love, though it can hurt so much." - Iris Murdoch

  • We're thinking South Pacific out of Brisbane - but we honestly know nothing.

  • Hey travellers - Britt and I are thinking of going on a cruise for the first time in 2017 - where's a good place to research cruises?

  • Which celebrity would you invite to your wedding assuming our cats were busy?

  • What would your wedding look like if you didn't have any guests? Start planning from that point and make your guests fit around you ✌🏼

  • Margot Robbie served Coco Pops for dessert at her wedding and now Britt and my wedding is the second best wedding to have ever occurred 🍽👏🏻

  • Movie idea: The year is 2016, accounting software still sucks, but one company wants it to suck more: Xero Effect

  • Confidence is #clamxav (MacOS antivirus software) finding a "virus" in @stripe's javascript on loading the Stripe dashboard

  • Asking for a friend.

  • I'm talking really fucking frustrated.

  • I wonder how many people have bought Office 365 after trying to do stuff in Apple Numbers and getting super frustrated.

  • It's like a real life Youtube video.

  • Some genius is on the public piano at #thekitchens starting @Coldplay songs beautifully then descending into a toddler smashing on keys.

  • Feeling quite proud of that last tweet

  • What's the best wedding photo ever, like, in the history of the universe? I'd love to see it.

  • Scene 1: dragons Scene 2: nazi symbol Scene 3: Michael@Bay's name Scene 4: Transformer in a football stadium.

    Bloody hell.

  • Ten points to Toyota for screening a 'prequels suck' ad before #StarWarsRogueOne

  • Pro Tip: Investing money into your marriage saves you investing money into your divorce.

  • Idea: a viral video full of big name celebrities asking big name celebrities to stop making viral videos asking people to do stuff.

  • I'd probably be even cooler if I could type it