Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Dan Murphy lady: would you like a receipt? Me: no thanks, I can't claim beer back on tax :) Lady: you need a new accountant

  • I'm thinking of moving to a company from a sole trader. Are there any Aussie startups providing services around that space? @CTAspley

  • Anyone want an iPhone 6s Plus 128Gb?

  • I'm about to have three times as many iPhones as I desired. @Telstra Life is exciting! #TelstraLyf!

  • Update on my iPhone 6s Plus order: I pre-ordered 2, was told their was no pre-order, so bought 2, then 2 arrived, now 2 more on the way!

  • There's a Yoga expo at Brisbane's Old Museum today. Getting me there would be a stretch.

  • Between that and being awarded the highest wedding award in Australia, the WEOA three diamond award, it's a good week for awards!

  • When you have too many iPhone 6s Plus', is there a collective noun you could use to describe all of them?

  • All I wanted was two iPhone 6s Plus' for Britt and I. After pre-ordering two @Telstra said I had zero. Now, magically, I have four.

  • Status update: in regional Victoria and @Telstra's computers thought we needed new SIM cards. Was kind enough to deactivate old ones. 😳

  • Hello Geelong region

  • Tony Abbott slowly revealing that he secretly really looked up to Kevin Rudd the whole time #auspol

  • Breaking News: NASA finds water on Mars. Further exploration needed to determine if it is our desired Smart Water™ or just regular water.

  • No new features, it's just new.

  • Wouldn't that be an awesome Apple keynote in a few years, a Steve Jobs hologram announcing a new opportunity for you to spend money.

  • The iPhone 6s feature I'm most looking forward to is my continued slavery and devotion to the Apple machine.

  • I've got a problem.

    I need an emergency tailor somewhere between Logan & Toowoomba right now.

    Split pants, and I'm on my way to a wedding.

  • I just saw it's not a loan, but still, every second time I log on there's some product being advertised in there. Super annoying.

  • Perth Airport T4 is being evacuated right now. We were just about to check our bags in ... #Perth #perthairport

  • So I guess ad publishers and ad blockers now live in a never ending cat and mouse game.

  • Google's worked itself around @Ghostery through @marcoarment's Peace and @1BlockerApp

  • Perth bound on a Tiger

  • I'm flying Tiger tonight. Pray for me, or something.

  • All our friends are posting about The Bachelor while we're at home searching for B-grade crime shows on Hulu.

  • #iOS9 has wiped all of my @AppleMusic playlists 😕

  • Idea: Let's honour our former PM by rebranding the humble BBQ sausage on bread w/ onion, a Tony Abbott sausage, like the USA's Arnold Palmer

  • Bolt/Holt Rabbit/Abbott

    Done the Rabbit?

  • Tony Holt amirite? #libspill #auspol

  • 29th/39th lol

  • Tony Abbott is/was four days away from a $600k lifetime pension #libspill

  • I for one welcome our new twenty five megabits per second overlord #libspill

  • Where does everyone even meet if you're going to match into a party room together? Does everyone meet on the basketball courts? #libspill

  • Me to Britt: leadership spills are like my version of the VMAs. Britt: why aren't you talking about what colour ties everyone has them?

  • Our first wedding anniversary was interrupted by Tony Abbott winning the PM title. Our third is being interrupted by him trying to keep it.

  • Spend 5 minutes trying to find a live streaming link for the PM's #libspill then I remember that the black box on the wall probably has it.

  • Guys, get your shit together. Are we putting our speedos or our onions out for @TonyAbbottMHR?

  • RT: @nicshields: RT: @TonyAbbottMHR: Added "I Don't Like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats to my ARghhhh Spill Playlist on Spotify.

  • Is good government starting or ending now? Asking for a friend.

  • Australia to get a new Minister for Women!

  • "It's pretty obvious that, well, sometimes shit happens, doesn't it?" Abbott said.

  • I'm Batprimeministerman.

  • It's like the IT engineers of the world have never seen an iPhone launch before.

  • Me: are there any @Telstra business centres open on a Saturday night? Them: let me check #lol

  • On the phone to @Telstra small business "the only place you can make an #iPhone6s pre-order is in a Telstra Business Centre"

  • Kim Kardashian: break the Internet. @tim_cook: #iPhone6s pre-orders begin this weekend.

  • "The only way we can get you home from our wedding is in a helicopter, is that ok?" Yes. Yes that's ok 😁

  • I wouldn't say I'm lactose intolerant, I'm just sick of lactose's shit.

  • Anyone else's @FeedBlitz emails from @thisissethsblog coming in as html in a plain text email?

  • "For all intensive purposes" - a senior defence force spokesperson I just heard on ABC radio 😐

  • Don't go, Jason Waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes you're used to #Beats1