Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • What a time to be alive #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

  • Holy fuck #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

  • 20 minutes out, this is where Qld really starts playing football #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

  • The Cowboys are so hungry for this win. This is football worth watching. Thanks for sitting this one out, NSW #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

  • I don't think ice seen two teams come into a #NRLGF with so much respect for each other

  • How have I never seen Thurston's wings?! #NRLGF #ridemcowboys

  • THURSTON'S WINGS??!!?? #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

  • It's really nice to see the NSWRL allowing is foreigners to have a win today #NRLGF

  • I wish the #NRLGF ads were better ... Can't we take a cue from the #SuperBowl? Cc @MolksTVTalk

  • Looking at Thurston's face and you can just see ten years of "for the love of God, please" #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

  • The #bronxnation is getting nervous! That try was too easy! #ridemcowboys #NRLGF

  • That close! #ridemcowboys #nrlgf

  • Thurston is so damn keen to kick #ridemcowboys #nrlgf

  • Just so I'm on the record for 80 minute mark: #GoCowboys #NRLGF

  • A really hot way to get your wife in the mood is to do the serious-faced-bogan-dancing-to-Barnsey-at-a-wedding dance. She loves it #NRLGF

  • "Jimmy Barnes' songs named after other parts of Vietnam" is an album I'd like to see soon #NRLGF

  • Thanks for perpetuating the bogan/football thing with Barnsey, NRL #NRLGF

  • Dan Murphy lady: would you like a receipt? Me: no thanks, I can't claim beer back on tax :) Lady: you need a new accountant

  • I'm thinking of moving to a company from a sole trader. Are there any Aussie startups providing services around that space? @CTAspley

  • Anyone want an iPhone 6s Plus 128Gb?

  • I'm about to have three times as many iPhones as I desired. @Telstra Life is exciting! #TelstraLyf!

  • Update on my iPhone 6s Plus order: I pre-ordered 2, was told their was no pre-order, so bought 2, then 2 arrived, now 2 more on the way!

  • There's a Yoga expo at Brisbane's Old Museum today. Getting me there would be a stretch.

  • Between that and being awarded the highest wedding award in Australia, the WEOA three diamond award, it's a good week for awards!

  • When you have too many iPhone 6s Plus', is there a collective noun you could use to describe all of them?

  • All I wanted was two iPhone 6s Plus' for Britt and I. After pre-ordering two @Telstra said I had zero. Now, magically, I have four.

  • Status update: in regional Victoria and @Telstra's computers thought we needed new SIM cards. Was kind enough to deactivate old ones. 😳

  • Hello Geelong region

  • Tony Abbott slowly revealing that he secretly really looked up to Kevin Rudd the whole time #auspol

  • Breaking News: NASA finds water on Mars. Further exploration needed to determine if it is our desired Smart Water™ or just regular water.

  • No new features, it's just new.

  • Wouldn't that be an awesome Apple keynote in a few years, a Steve Jobs hologram announcing a new opportunity for you to spend money.

  • The iPhone 6s feature I'm most looking forward to is my continued slavery and devotion to the Apple machine.

  • I've got a problem.

    I need an emergency tailor somewhere between Logan & Toowoomba right now.

    Split pants, and I'm on my way to a wedding.

  • I just saw it's not a loan, but still, every second time I log on there's some product being advertised in there. Super annoying.

  • Perth Airport T4 is being evacuated right now. We were just about to check our bags in ... #Perth #perthairport

  • So I guess ad publishers and ad blockers now live in a never ending cat and mouse game.

  • Google's worked itself around @Ghostery through @marcoarment's Peace and @1BlockerApp

  • Perth bound on a Tiger

  • I'm flying Tiger tonight. Pray for me, or something.

  • All our friends are posting about The Bachelor while we're at home searching for B-grade crime shows on Hulu.

  • #iOS9 has wiped all of my @AppleMusic playlists 😕

  • Idea: Let's honour our former PM by rebranding the humble BBQ sausage on bread w/ onion, a Tony Abbott sausage, like the USA's Arnold Palmer

  • Bolt/Holt Rabbit/Abbott

    Done the Rabbit?

  • Tony Holt amirite? #libspill #auspol

  • 29th/39th lol

  • Tony Abbott is/was four days away from a $600k lifetime pension #libspill

  • I for one welcome our new twenty five megabits per second overlord #libspill

  • Where does everyone even meet if you're going to match into a party room together? Does everyone meet on the basketball courts? #libspill

  • Me to Britt: leadership spills are like my version of the VMAs. Britt: why aren't you talking about what colour ties everyone has them?