Woah! You miss two eps of @atpfm and step back into a war of the sexes. I have a dream that one day penises and vaginas will hold hands.

Pistol and Boooooo!, am I right?

Any chance of a Perth audio hire person being on Twitter and helping me find a Sennheiser LSP-500 to hire in Perth?

Can someone please do a video mashup of Barnaby Joyce and Captain Jack Sparrow in a sword-fight please.

Breaking News: "Yeah, nah, well, ya know" says Senator Glenn Lazarus on the forming of his own political party.

"Marriage celibate"??!! Thanks @stuartlayt lol

Just searched the house for Britt's travel credit card. She has wayyyyy too many handbags. And one travel credit card.

"We knew you'd make us laugh and we don't want to cry!" Kaycee & Ben told me as we planned their Chur Burger alleyway wedding

"Guess it's time to open the old 'There's very little in the budget for families' MS Word template again" - family groups today

phone rings, I answer, silence for a moment, then an Indian accent begins speaking "Hello, am I talking to Mister Marriage?"

Why do people even use the #auspol hashtag? Like reasonable, intelligent Australians are thinking "I need to tweet with more fuckwits"

Booking form question: How did you find out about Josh? Booking form answer: You scared the shit out of me at a Lightspace wedding showcase.

I just unfollowed someone who had to Google how to eat lychees. Social media is a tough marketplace, yo.

He fired me once when I accidentally wiped his laptop ... but hired me back fortnight later :)

A bloody good guy but equally tough businessman.

Wow. Rhys Holleran has stood down as CEO of SCA. He's been leading the radio network, and it's earlier incarnations, for more than 24 years.

Elderly lady just called me "a gentleman and a scholar" and I've never felt greater pressure to go to university.

When I pass away I'm leaving my billions to a studio that will remake Batman vs. Superman, but they fall in love, just to troll homophobes.

Suncorp Stadium, the home of the last minute win

137.82

With any luck I'll have one or two morals left for the back end of the year.

The irony of the morally controversial TV show I'm on airing while I'm on a moral-less holiday not boycotting Bali is not lost on me.

Breaking News: journalists hit the streets to find out just how beautiful the newborn Royal baby's name is.

135.72

For $37 you can get lei'd on arrival at Honolulu International. Cheap lei.

28 wedding ceremonies this month. Oh my lord. I think I need a nap.

Did you know that in a Melbourne school hall right now there is another big award night on with confiused sponsorship, the TV Week Loogies.

Floyd Mayweather remains unbeaten, a title most of his former girlfriends cannot lay claim to.

Crowd cheers for the homophobe, boos for the woman beater. Hard choice to make cheerers.

Don't you hate it when you're sitting there minding your own business and suddenly remember how much you don't care about the boxing.

Monorail is crawling back to the Oasis with lights off. Dodgy!

If you want to know what a celebrant's nightmares look like, last night I dreamt I was at a wedding and my pants were inside out.

If you want to try Uber out for the first time, here's $25 to spend tonight: use the promo code THANKSJOSH.

Two rich people expecting baby tease the peasants. Call the bully police asap!

Sometimes I look back over my typos and just cry, a little bit ...

A million trips in #UberX's first year in Brisbane. That's 2700+ trips each day. #IChooseUber

Almost 1M trips have been taken on #UberX in #Brisbane in the last year #Happy1stBirthdayUberX #Uber

We've got to deal with issues, not boycott.

We can't just boycott shit every time we emotionally react to something. There'll be no-one left in business eventually.

But sure, boycott Bali like a n00b.

Everyone's boycotting Bali while it's our AFP made the decision to not deal with the smuggling on Aust soil, but to dob them in to Indonesia

Four media appearances in the last 24 hours - the media tart is back!

Oh my god. Put the cameras down for a moment. Turn off the uplink. #Bali9

And although I don;t miss corporate employment, at least I had a work finish time. Not any more.

I do not miss corporate employment at all.

Just got an email auto reply from someone in a large Australian media company, they're away for the day for a "Culture Day".

Launching a pretty freaking cool competition with @PopUpWed tonight!

I feel like movie piracy wouldn't happen so much if they gave it a less-cool name, like movie algebra.

One woman murdered every 84 hours in Australia this year already. That's 33 men that need to deal with their shit wayyyy better.

I don't use, deal, or like drugs and even I'm feeling uneasy about going to Bali in a few weeks :/