It's astounding how many people named Josh Withers think that their email address is joshwithers at gmail dot com. 5-20 emails daily.

How terribly awkward. Celebrant at my class doesn't know I'm on #MarriedAU and is actively protesting against #MarriedAU.

#Celebrant news: There were 11,200 civil marriage celebrants in 2013, 10,700 last year, 8,900 last week. Expected to drop again in July.

Leading a class of celebrants in changes to the marriage paperwork today, plus a class on performing ceremonies, and SEO, in Teneriffe!

Best thing about self-employment? If I tweet something unpopular there's only a few hundred people each year to fire me, instead of just one

thinks up hilarious tweet waits for retweets whilst sobbing

"I'm just a tuna roll girl living in a sashimi world" - girl catching the Sushi Train going anywhere, just now

Bloody proud day to be an Australian. I love that an intrinsic part of our culture is sacrifice, commitment and loyalty. Lest we forget.

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Just had a great chat with @candice_barnes from @WAtoday about #MarriedAU - online soon!

Ugh, I just used the word 'Multimedia' like it meant something.

I've achieved a lot in my time, I've been proud of many things, but I'm never prouder than when I fart and Britt dry-reaches.

Clicked /r/thebutton at 19 seconds, but got 60 second flair. Life is harsh sometimes #thebutton #reddit #fml #firstworldproblems

Losing weight is bloody hard.

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look at email inbox after not looking at it in four days burns computer to the ground rocks back and forth crying

GUY AT MY CAFE HAS AN OCULUS RIFT! WHAT IS THIS AWESOME TECHNOLOGICAL ERA WE ARE LIVING IN?

Eight wedding ceremonies in one day. I am buggered.

Marrying eight couples tomorrow ... #popupwedding

Dear Mercedes with the 'LE STIG' number plate. You and I spend way too much time on the motorway. I've seen you like 5 times this week.

I was just talking to on of our #popupwedding photogs in #Perth. She tells me that the Kidogo Arthouse is 'mint'. That means good, right?

On air on #Perth's @6PR tonight talking emails, inbox:zero, @Mailboxapp and @Yesware​ #inboxzero

Putting my technology commentator hat back on and I'm talking emails and @yesware on Perth radio tonight!

If I was ever unsure about @snow_withers loving me, I know for sure she does because she gave me tuna and breath mints for lunch!

Yes, I know it's not the first networked breakfast, but the first in the new age of 'where the F have all our listeners gone?'

Now that Fairfax have 'lead the way' with a networked from Sydney breakfast show, watch Hit105 and others follow suit around the country.

If I had to describe my personal brand social media strategy it would be "To be as unhelpful to @MolksTVTalk as possible"

The overuse of the "Keep Calm and..." meme has gotten to the point where it now means the opposite.

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Just yesterday I was in an Uber and saw their message on the back of some car and felt comforted straight away.

It's comforting to know that in this big bad world, my local taxi company is really looking out for my safety.

That 4.92 was a 5 for the longest time.

I think I'm going to wait for the Apple Sundial.

"I'd like to thank the groomsmen for the buck's night which consisted of book club, prayer, and cooking" - Lindsay in his wedding speech.

Ok, just so everyone knows, we're all calling 4BC, 4AD now.

#4BC #NewsTalk4BC @NewsTalk4BC

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If I ever begin a rap career, my first song will be about wanting more retweets.

I don't know how your marriage is going but Stevie the cat expressed a scent from her anal glands onto my face & now my wife won't kiss me.

Famous last words RT @RyanJon: I'm looking up porn things for a work story

Finally! Twitter can retweet with comment!

Oxymoron: Country music talent quest.

So every second guy in Byron Bay looks like Steve Jobs did at some point of his life.

"May the schwartz be with you" - Yogurt, Spaceballs

Made a Simpsons reference in a funeral this afternoon #youdontmakefriendswithsalad

I want to see a modernisation of the Jesus story where he gets sick of ppl taking selfies with him because he doesn't like his selfie face.

Tony Abbott could be PM forever if he just made some cool reference to Netflix and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in his next speech.

Sat down tonight to write a joke about an overcrowded cemetery tonight, but there was no plot.

I feel like the responsibility of sitting in an exit row is like the algebra of flying. We're never going to use it are we?

App idea: an app that uses GPS to find somewhere to get breakfast that isn't McDonalds.

It was only after walking up and down the street several times did he realise he had a rental car. Not his own. A true story from right now.