Hellooooooo, Sydney

Sydney bound to lead a celebrant training workshop tomorrow in Sans Souci. Anything exciting happening in Sydney tonight?

Because, of course, my opinion on what brings an airplane down matters.

Honestly, as I sit in the Qantas Club this morning shitting myself, I'd rather it be a terrorist attack over an aircraft failure.

Guy next to me was talking to himself for the entire train ride home. Worse TED Talk ever.

Just used Forcetouch at the Apple Store, and it's awesome, not a creepy Jedi trick.

Hey @TonyAbbottMHR and @LiberalAus #feelthelove and support marriage equality! We love it!

Signed into Netflix off VPN and the app just tells me that 'if I'm travelling' I might see different shows in different countries.

I'm excited about changing wifi networks on my TV today! #NetflixDay

Australian comedian, @scottdools, has been spotted. On the set of. The new 007 film looks great!

Just finished my first official training session for celebrant's professional development! I don't think I have a single drop of energy left

My greatest fears were realised today when a shirtless man in West End asked me for a cigarette.

Onion rings = vegetable doughnuts

I'd totally become a doctor if the method to find out if u were dead inside was to see if you would sing along to Livin' On A Prayer or not.

I'm catching up with Nathan, @Natty_Nat_Nat and Shaun on @nova937 next week, tune in! :)

Has anyone got an update on Lunchmoney Lewis' bills?

I think we can all agree that regardless of his appreciation of Australian heritage, our PM does know a lot about Germany's heritage.

If I was the last human on earth I would probs not wear clothes.

"It's the most awkward thing I've heard of in my life" - @BenFordham

I'm on @2GB873 with @BenFordham talking divorce ceremonies now.

God Bless you Interwebs for always dredging up decades old pop culture and just making it better

I furkan derya to print that, yo.

Blurry photo at that!

Free business idea: a museum for tastes and smells.

Years from now when "Jet Fighter Ben" is a comedy institution I'll point to this tweet for its conception in my Uber today #JetFighterBen

Infidelity? #whatsnexttone?

Drugs? #whatsnexttone?

Hookers? #whatsnexttone?

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Want to try Uber for free tonight? Australian first time users of the app can get their first $25 free using the promo code: thanksjosh

Coming out soon: my new book on Paleo Wedding Ceremonies with a great section on clubbing.

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club" - Jack London

I'm looking for someone to help me with one-on-one intensive coaching on a Cert IV TAE - know anyone?

"Sorry I'm late, my watch is on Vodafone"

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"So, it's like, the time, but right on your wrist!" - Apple Watch salesperson

What if the rain doesn't stop, but the precipitation connection is just buffering?

Confession: when the barber shows me my haircut in a mirror I don't know what to look for and always say "Yep, looks great!"

Well that doesn't happen every day. I just performed a fake same-sex marriage ceremony live on air on a talk radio station lol.

Perth peeps! I'm on @6PR soon talking about getting married as soon as possible.

Free business idea: individually wrapped Kellogg's Cornflakes pieces.

Thinking about starting a blog that asks the big questions like "What the heck are all these people doing at the Post Office, like, wtf?"

Kendal & Grant #marriedbyjoshhttp://joshs.link/1A3S5jI

Woohoo! I'm marrying Sarah and David at TBC- possibly royal botanic gardens or Elizabeth farm (in parramatta but still same drive time t

Heads are going to roll! My Uber rating has dropped from a solid 5 to 4.92!!!!!

If u told me 10yrs ago that my job today would be to talk in front of crowds about putting up with each other's shit at music festivals ...

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I'm on @nova1069 talking about what I'm doing at @FMFestivalAust tomorrow #FutureMusic

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Hans Solo: makes the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, mistakes golf course for runway.