Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Any tips on the best data only, SIM only, 3G/4G prepaid or postpaid deal in Australia?

  • Was just on @96fmBreakfast in my office that I share w/ @snow_withers & her father. Despite being 2m away, neither noticed I was on radio.

  • About to chat to @96fmCarmen @96fmBreakfast and Jesse Wagstaff!

  • This will be the last time anyone smuggles drugs into Bali, right?

  • 136.16

  • Plugged laptop back into my home network for the 1st time in weeks and I said "there's no place like 127.0.0.1" ... paused, slapped myself

  • It's been great seeing you, non-Queensland, but I'm crazy glad to be homeward bound!

  • The saddest looking @Qantas jet is the Qantas Freight 767 with no windows. What is all the freight supposed to do mid-flight?

  • QLD Transport in the pocket of the Taxi Council?

  • Qld Transport CSO told Britt that she's not allowed to apply for a Driver's Authority if its for @Uber_QLD, to apply for a taxi job instead.

  • If you missed my wedding vow workshop at @LoveOnTheLawn1 then send a blank email to vows@marriedbyjosh.com for an auto reply with my notes!

  • "I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave" - Jarod Kintz

  • We're all secretly idiots inside.

  • It might be hours before I have to wake up but I've just set up the most awesome nerd thing for tomorrow's wedding fair!

  • Hello Sydney!

  • Saturday night flying is the best! The flight's pretty much empty ... bye Melbourne, see you soon for @LoveOnTheLawn1, Sydney!

  • Have we reached peak llama dress yet?

  • What spelling is this color?

  • Not sure if I'm in Melbourne or an episode of Australia's Got Talent.

  • My only disappointment with the Great Ocean Road is that there is not a restaurant called "Lorne Bowls"

  • I don't want to boast, but I have the same number of Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio #justsayin

  • Britt: look at that cow pooing. Josh: that's bullshit baby. drops mic

  • First world holiday problem: can't sleep because the majestically beautiful crashing waves outside our beachside cottage are too loud.

  • Victoria-bound for the week!

  • Blonde girl at Gold Coast airport wearing track pants and a black with diamontes Penthouse cap refuses to be stereotyped.

  • Seriously though, I hope to god that photos of me 7 years ago never surface.

  • If you think slaughtering innocent animals is disgusting, then put down that cheeseburger!

  • Glen McGrath #NeverForget

  • Where can I get film for my iPhone 5S on a Saturday in Brisbane?

  • On my tombstone I'd like it to say" He wasn't that funny, but he gave it a good try"

  • Nothing like a cyclone in Queensland to get the rest of Australia riled up and Queenslanders all going "meh"

  • The hero of the day is the legend trying to go surfing in Yeppoon, called out by @karlstefanovic onair then pulled in by @QPSmedia #tcmarcia

  • #TCMarcia is very close to Yeppoon, in-fact I'm informed now it's right on top of ya fork.

  • Photoshop turns 25 today, though you wouldn't know it by it's photoshoot for Graphic Design Weekly, it barely looks 16.

  • OMG! RT @0i76xl798k17li: |Prize|Patrol has chosen you as today's Australia winner @JoshuaWithers Claim at this page @A_U_SClaim

  • Abbott government to scrap the national Census in favour of just looking at the insights for everyone that checks into Australia on Facebook

  • Just booked another two weeks in NYC this July/August. Heck yes!

  • Did you know that if you're a first time user on Uber you can use the promo code 'marriedbyjosh' to get your first two trips free? Legit!

  • Is it too soon to start writing to Santa about a self-driving Apple car?

  • "It's a special kind of love (that I have for Phillip Ruddock)" - @JoeHockey

  • I'm predicting that in the next five years there will be a cat videos segment at the Oscars.

  • Dear Twittersaurus: a word for party that starts with m

  • Mother of a bride just now: Wow! I can't believe there's a male celebrant. Me: I know! How weird is it for a celebrant to have a penis!

  • But she's convinced that you watch 'Better Call Stan' on Netflix ... so not all advertising works.

  • Advertising works! Britt keeps on calling #BetterCallSaul 'Just Call Stan' ... @stancomau @MolksTVTalk

  • Disappointed the @CourierMail didn't go with "50 Palaszczuk's of Grey" today.

  • Animated GIFs maketh man

  • Am I using it right?

  • Just downed a holocaust of coffee.

  • I'm a bit worried about the few of my friends that haven't weighed in on Kanye West this week. Hope you guys are ok.