"Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn't, do something else." Franklin D. Roosevelt

Is there any ethical problems about offering free cat photos in return for contracting your services? Do the cats need a per diem?

Breaking News: Tony Abbott knights himself #libspill #auspol

You know times are a tough for a PM when he has a lower approval rating than a guy that held people hostage in a cafe in Martin Place.

"The Prime Minister is a very busy man" ... just in case anyone needed a line for tomorrow's front page #sydneyseige

I love the visual idea of a leadership spill. Like the leadership is a schooner of beer and the party is trying to carry it without spilling

I don't want to alarm anyone, but it seems the Far Kew Corner Store at Kew has shutdown. Quite disappoint.

"Maybe dying alone isn't all that bad, like you don't hear many complaints"

And although I live on the Gold Coast, I have like one wedding near home.

So this year is shaping up to be blow-your-mind-crazy. Bali twice, Hawaii once, Sydney like twenty times, Perth twice, Melbourne three times

You haven't driven in Sydney traffic until unless you need a hug when you get out of the car.

Waa-hay!

I'm not a racist but I like tweeting confusing Tweets.

Waa-hay!

Eating activated almonds #DoingAnAbbott

Ate two brownies instead of just one #doinganAbbott

But who's going to control the Turnbull puppet? #libspill

Which is kind of creepy now I think about it.

I don't work. I just make people give each other jewellery and kiss.

Someone just referred to me not being available on the weekends because I'm working.

Waa-hay!

I got pulled over by a policewoman...

When I put down my window to ask what was wrong, she said "NOTHING!"

Honestly, it's kind of fun getting a new govt every few months. It's like a mobile phone contract, you don't want the same mobile again!

I'm sitting on a balcony in Cabarita and I can hear screams of joy cry out across Hen and Chicken Bay through the final moments of #AUSvKOR

Waa-hay!

My evening in Sydney just opened up - anything exciting happening in town?

It's 2015 right?

I can rent a hotel room online with a CC but @HotelRealm won't take a CC over the phone for a deposit when Britt's forgotten her CC?

Rather lazy and certainly overweight, he remarkedly paid his bills by simply talking #myozobituary

"Did you hear about that cat that came back to life after five days" an old man in Taree just told me #breakingnews

Hi Coffs Harbour

I think it's lovely that the @couriermail has put news reporting aside for a few days to transform into an LNP how-to-vote card #qldpol

We're finally at the end of the #Hottest100 where I recognise 1 in 3 songs

If the worst thing in your life today has something to do with Triple J or Taylor Swift then life's pretty awesome right?

If a brand can't back a song in the #Hottest100, does that mean if I write a post about liking a hipster song it gets excluded as well?

I need two witnesses to an elopement in Fortitude Valley right now, can you spare me a signature and 5 minutes?

I was just saying to someone the other day that Prince Phillip wasn't recognised for his efforts enough, that boy needs a Knighthood.

Waa-hay!

Really looking forward to Oz-Taylor! Day tomorrow #Tay4Hottest100

I'm pretty sure I just saw a @Qantas 727 landing into @BrisbaneAirport - I didn't think Qantas, or anyone, was flying B727s anymore.

Waa-hay!

Meta bumper sticker just seen in Brisbane: Campbell's a can't

Expedia, the recently new US owners of Wotif are firing 99% of their BNE-based workforce on Australia Day + increasing booking fee by $10

Have any Queensland candidates made policy promises about legislating for ride-sharing? #qldpol

Brisbane is: Saturday morning traffic jams. Thanks, Obama.

Subaru backwards is "ur a bus"

Waa-hay!

Waa-hay!

"Where does all the rain even go??" - Britt

Waa-hay!