Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Want to get married on Valentine's Day? Today's your last chance to give one month's notice.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Mind you, it's nothing compared to the 33,067 emails that you guys sent me ...

  • My IT guys just told me that I sent 8,498 emails last year. Sorry 'bout that.

  • Remember when we used to order letterheads. Now we order a domain name.

  • People sometimes mistake me for a wedding celebrant. I'm actually just a professional email inbox emptier.

  • Do you ever think that @1200Techniques has lost faith in karma after no one wrote a song about their karma?

  • I probably tweet more than the average nerd. I think most tweets go unread and unnoticed. I tweet one inaccurate thing about the NBN, boom.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Bought a misspelled domain name last night, @hover probably needs to install a breathalyser.

  • Is there a 1800 number you call if you se someone using iOS 6?

  • Can you help me brainstorm a podcast name? I want to create a show about using tech, gadgets, websites, apps, to help solo/small businesses.

  • Call out for audio engineers/producers looking for work, msg me.

  • If there happens to be anyone with a spare couple of minutes in Melbourne's Tullamarine airport around 10:40am tomorrow morning let me know?

  • ... so I'm never opening Messages on my iPhone again, sorry to anyone that ever messages me.

  • I don't know how your day is going but a client accidentally sent me a picture of his gear today ...

  • If your idea can be invalidated by a funny cartoon, your idea might need readjustment. Advice for entrepreneurs and terrorists.

  • I had no intention of any political campaigning #qldpol, but now I want to buy an 'I'm with stupid' shirt and go on #smurfwatch #FreeCanDo

  • I'm with stupid -> @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo

  • Not sure how much I can say, but I know that this is not the last time everyone will hear from @Can_do_Campbell this #qldpol #FreeCanDo

  • OMG A MASSIVE COCONUT FELL AND ALMOST JUST KILLED ME. Tropical life is hard, yo #TheStruggleIsReal

  • Really looking forward to Channel 13 News' upcoming documentary on the human condition.

  • Can you buy @VirginAustralia lounge guest passes?

  • In other news, I'm three hours early for a flight.

  • Withers Law of Driving to @BrisbaneAirport from GC: leave early, there will be no traffic. Don't leave early, there will be so much traffic.

  • How awkward. Business person just (I assume accidentally) ended the phone call with "I love you". And no, the business person wasn't me.

  • Wanted: podcast mediator, as @MolksTVTalk and I compare the Oz TV streaming services to the US services, side by side on the same lounge.

  • Would you prefer to go to a wedding on a Monday or a Thursday?

  • What kind of age are we living in when a prince can't have an orgy?

  • "pop up wedding" "poop up wedding"

    one letter brings totally different search engine results

  • Waa-hay!

  • Waa-hay!

  • Is my petrol halal certified? Asking for a friend.

  • Christmas holiday fun game: step 1) rent white van. Step 2) park van on highway.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Is there an app that lets you know where speed cameras are? Not that I'm planning on speeding tonight, just asking for a friend ...

  • I don't want to take full responsibility for global warming but i just flushed the wrong urinal.

  • I always forget, which one is the crime, jernalizm or journalism, @PeterGreste?

  • Accidentally watch a a Nicholas Cage film last night. Glad 2014 is behind us.

  • My new year's resolution is CGA #nevergetsold

  • It's 2015 and I feel like a halal certified globally warmed cross bun with no $5 co-payment. Help anyone?

  • Four little numbers that help us compartmentalise 365 days of feelings. Be gone current four digit compartment code. Bring on a new one.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Looking for a really cool seminar/workshop area in Sydney - anyone? 10-20 people

  • If you're looking for a free #NYE Uber code type marriedbyjosh into the app for your first two trips free, up to $25 per trip.

  • I've got 2 hours to burn in Brisbane this afternoon. The challenge is to not get drunk before the 5:30pm ceremony :/

  • Waa-hay!

  • Get rich quick scheme idea: start a band and say you're TISM then start touring wearing costumes that cover your mouth. Play iPod. Instant $

  • Aspire Worldwide is the MLM scam.

  • Proud husband moment. Britt's on the phone to a friend who has just gotten into network marketing. She's trolling the shit out of her.