Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • ... my marriage ceremonies would inspire couples to create awesome marriages that lead healthy communities into a better tomorrow.

  • Tonight I'm reading @TEDchris's brand new #TedTalksbook. I'm not planning on delivering a TED talk anytime soon but I'd hope my ...

  • No-one call @MolksTVTalk - #gameofthrones is on and apparently no-one is supposed to call at that time.

  • I'm constantly impressed/surprised at @TripIt having @Qantas delays minutes and sometimes hours ahead of QF.

  • Take me home Jetstar. I'm sick, also tired.

  • Fun game: guess how late this Jetstar flight can be delayed.

  • More like, 5pm Oil.

  • Most awkward coffee a man's ever drunk.

  • Awkward cafe would rather give me a free coffee than let me pay for it because they have an EFTPOS minimum.

  • Qld govt has given me a word document "template" that opens terrible, what do you think would be the best way to Mac'ify it?

  • Apple's just breathed 8 gigabytes of air into the MacBook Air ... hurry and die now won't you little MacBook Air

  • My subconscious even invented an arguably great line: "marriage is like a podcast, everyone has one" @marcoarment @tiffanyarment

  • I just dreamt that I was the marriage officiant for @marcoarment & @tiffanyarment's wedding. Dreams are so weird.

  • Over the loudspeaker as I board a cruise ship this morning: "on offer today is the Titanic experience" 🛳

  • Prediction: the next "iMac" won't be called an iMac, it will simply be called "Mac". There will be the Mac, Mac Pro, MacBook, MacBook Pro

  • Why is no-one working on driverless motorbikes? #ideasboom

  • Though it really does leave me confused where they would even get fake Koalas from?

  • Please note that despite being called @KoalaMattress the mattresses are not actually made from real Koalas. I understand they use fake ones.

  • Regardless, Edwards now lives a happy life in Port Macquarie all because we bought a mattress. How 'bout that!

  • Our Koala is named Edwards Montana but I don't think that's real name because it's quite an American name for an Australian animal.

  • The whole mattress business is a scam all created by Big Mattress, who despite being evil, just want you to sleep more.

  • Especially considering the whole mattress selling/buying game is a rort and you can't find the same mattress model in two stores!

  • Britt and I bought a mattress online and a cranky looking man delivered it, but the mattress being quite fancy is what matters.

  • Sooo, there's no #UberX in #Adelaide?!?!

  • Ok, help me out with an idea I'm running with for this afternoon's ceremony: How is a marriage like a burger?

  • Ok, stay with me: UberX for singing telegrams.

  • Our German friend tells me that phrases like "Grammar Nazi" aren't cool in Germany. I told him to stop being such a Nazi Nazi.

  • Crazy weekend begins now: GC 🛫 Coogee 🚗 Hunter Valley 🏎 Sydney ✈️ Adelaide 🛩 GC. The coffee better be hot, @Qantas

  • If you look really carefully and closely at tonight's #MarriedAtFirstSight you can see me totally not being involved in any which way.

  • You jump on local hashtags like a kid on a trampoline, especially if there's a touch of nostalgia. Everyone pass Go #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You drive through a toll, and pay the toll, but miss the next turn cause you're still bitching about it #bnemonopolychancecards

  • It's State of Origin time, everyone collects $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You get to the airport without paying a toll, move directly to Go, collect $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You tune in to @NewsTalk4BC and realise you're listening to @2GB873, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You climb the Story Bridge but then realise it's only the second best bridge climb in Australia, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You caught a hovercraft to Expo 88, win $1000 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You order a coffee and the cafe does have syrups for your Caramel Latte, win $5 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You win a holiday on XXXX Island, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • No-one on your CityCat takes a selfie, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You use CityCycle, win $10 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You call an Uber but Qld Transport questions you. You lie, telling the inspector that Umad is a mate, win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You catch QF16 back from LAX and it's not delayed, you win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • it's NRL Grand Final time and you can support any team based in Queensland, pass go, collect $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You see a cool food idea in NYC and open a restaurant in Brisbane, lose $2000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You manage to get yourself in the background of a @sunriseon7 live cross from Kangaroo Point, win $50 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You survive a whole summer without calling your home insurer, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You hear a suburb pronounced correctly by a Sydney announcer on @NewsTalk4BC, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You walk through the Valley after dark and survive. You get to keep on playing. #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • Everything good in the world is happening on #BneMonopolyChanceCards right now

  • Apple Store staff just called the new iPad Pro 9.7" the "iPad 7" ... that's not a thing is it?